He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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