Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
