So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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