We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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