Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
