He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
