Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show

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(417): View more from Missouri

I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.

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(517): View more from Michigan

We're going to party like we don't have spanx on

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(602): View more from Arizona

Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.

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