fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
