Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
