I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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