apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
