Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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