Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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