3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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