Can i not drive my cunt home
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
