So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Green mimosas i think yes
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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