Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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