did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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