can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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