don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
