Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
