dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
