i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
