I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
