You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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