I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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