'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Found the puke drawer
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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