Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize