I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
