dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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