Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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