hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
