office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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