Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have feelings that need drinking.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
