would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
