on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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