you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
