hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
