aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
