Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize