To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
