When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
