There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it's like iHOP with fire
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
