if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
