Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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