Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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