Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
