Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize