a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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