I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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