and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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