I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
