I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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