We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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