I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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