I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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