you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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