it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
