The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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