That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
did i just pee glitter
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
