Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
