A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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