Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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